To the “leaders” of the free world:
By now you are growing anxious: despite all of your attempts to appease or live with the Axis, you sense they have no place for you in the world you are making together.
Leading Axis mentat Aleksandr Dugin senses your vulnerability and calls on Russia to squeeze you dry - and you will be helpless in their hands. You already are.
But you still have some amount of your wits. This is why Democrats put out a sudden alert to Iran, telling them not to assassinate US figures they sanctioned. This is also why, for all of their years of supporting Assad, the fulcrum of the Axis, key Republican figures are now introducing piecemeal initiatives against different heads of the hydra.
You seem to all be increasingly aware that your personal fate will likely be that of Valerian should the Axis win. Yes, some of you will have the opportunity to turn quisling and serve as colonial administrators of a puppet United States and allies.
Very few of you make the cut. You’re just not hot enough.
Our movement offers the rest of you a way out. Our movement is the only force on the planet that is capable of grasping the full extent of the nature of the threat posed by the Axis of Russia, China, Iran, Assadistan, and lesser powers, including the Armenia you all love more than life itself.
We also understand the critical threat posed by their domestic agents and the necessary methods required to root out their influence.
Yes, many of you grasp bits and pieces of the conspiracy against you. Yet not a single one of you, with the potential exceptions of Senators Klobuchar and Sinema, understands the full picture. Regardless, your ability to act on what little of the Axis conspiracy that each of you do grasp is severely limited by Trump Derangement Syndrome or your belief that exposing yourself to a Chinese bioweapon owns the libs.
In short, you face a severe collective action problem. Our movement is completely free from this hurdle and can therefore understand the full scale of the threat and pursue the actions needed to ultimately defeat it - not merely appease it as Democrats favor or (temporarily) “learn to live” with an “endemic” Axis as Republicans want.
Therefore, within the limits of our respective democratic governments, our movement calls on you to grant members of our movement plenipotentiary powers that allow us to direct national resources against the Axis, wherever it may be.
The specifics of this arrangement can be decided later, but the agreement in principle at this point is key.
As a compromise for this extraordinary request, we are willing to allow our actions to be subject to veto by elected authorities, popular referenda, or whatever arrangement works best. This will limit our ability to initiate the full scope of our programme, which includes launching immediate first nuclear strikes on Axis powers. However, we will be able to initiate other actions which are amenable to our societies, yet which none of those with the power to do so currently are willing or able to take.
While you may decide to delegate these powers to us at any time, we feel that the sooner you do so, the better for us all. Eventually, power will pass to us, just as it did to Churchill, who raised the alarm of the fascist threat to an indifferent political class throughout the last century’s 20’s and 30’s. We are set to repeat this pattern and reap similar rewards as him in the 2040s. You can avert this crisis now by elevating us to power today instead of waiting for the Axis to bring us to it in two decades.
While the specific actions we take against the Axis will be decided by events and what our societies permit, some examples include the following:
Scrapping the Iran Deal before chief US negotiator and devoted Americommunist Rob Malley can deliver them a nuclear bomb, as has been his intent from the start, proven by his recent inconsistent hardline pivot, which incentivizes the Iranian regime to cross the finish line he previously walked them to, in favor of a persistent bombing campaign like that enforced on Iraq from 1991 to 2003;
Arming Ukraine with any and all weapons necessary to resist a Russian attack, including nuclear weapons, or to even launch a first strike on massed Russian forces a la Israel in 1967, which would cripple the fascist Russian military, which relies on the same praetorian units to do its work across multiple theaters;
A global military offense against Russia’s Wagner Group, which nominally exists as a separate unit from the Russian military and can therefore be targeted at will;
Removing the head of the Assad regime and provide unlimited armaments to Syrian rebel groups (no, the “SDF,” aka “thu Kurrrds!” doesn’t count, it’s regime collaborationist at best), which will precipitate a regime collapse and cripple Russia’s entire Mediterranean presence, and begin the end of the Putin regime;
Accelerate the decoupling of the economy of Western Taiwan from global markets;
Combat domestic Axis infiltration through its via mass detainment of Axis agents, ranging from high-profile Putin whisperers to Axis Armenians that control the Democratic Party and which are at the heart of CSTO and active participants in Assad’s genocide, lending it the vital diplomatic credibility it thirsts for, to Chinese herrenvolk “students” who are spies of the CPC (they are not victims - herrenvolk societies are built on consensual abuse, which is why there is no freedom movement among West Taiwanese or opposition to the ongoing Uyghur Genocide, which appears to have claimed over 50,000 to 250,000 victims at this point, using the same body disposal methods as used by the Assad regime (disposing bodies in small batches of 50 - 100 or so at a time) or any “antiwar” protests in Russia for that matter) and everyone in between (in my personal view, mass detainment is preferable to deportations because the latter will deter immigration while simply returning Axis agents into circulation);
Material support for Kazakhstan’s emerging freedom movement, the nature of which may yet be determined but may include arming whatever insurgency forms;
Combating the Axis on multiple other fronts, including Burma (Myanmar is the junta name), Ethiopia, the Central African Republic, across Latin America, and around the globe and outer space, generally;
Our movement can be trusted with power as we are entirely outside of your partisan formulations. Our movement is the only one in existence that seeks to orient itself entirely along an antifascist axis. Furthermore, much of our expected future power isn’t even human, removing us further from your earthly considerations.
Frankly, we find little use in homo sapiens copeiens such as yourselves, who think occasional sanctions, endless negotiations weaponized against yourselves, and the few a few pinprick strikes you launch, are sufficient to deal with the Axis.
To achieve victory, we simply need you to do what we tell you. The question is whether you still have the good sense to focus on your strengths - talking about AOC, pretending it’s 2016 - while leaving the real work you don’t even want to us.
Eventually, your voters will find out what’s happening and turn to us anyway - and hard against you and those bennies. We’re giving you the chance to keep the grift going and turn your mistakes into miracles.
Only We Can Stop Russia
see a therapist and take the meds they prescribe, Justin
shit your pants